Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I'm teaching myself to write HTML and CSS so that I can create my own website the way I want it. In the process, I plan on combining my blog as well so that everything you ever need to know about muah will be available all in one place. I'd like to be in control of how I present myself to others and that involves not being limited to options I am provided and also by the amount of money it costs to pay for a professional web designer. I'm smart. I'm an artist. Teach me and I'll do it. I bought a book from Borders, that is far from dry and utilizes, pictures, first person dialogue and constructive thinking. I was hoping I'd find something just like it because it's hard to learn from a typical text book if you are attempting to teach yourself without the aid of a teacher. After this book I plan on finding some more in-depth ones and possibly even some on Flash.

In fact, after I'm through reading up on these subjects and have successfully made my website to my desire (my goal is by the time I graduate) then I plan on teaching myself some other subjects. I'd also like to learn about computer programming and physics and cell biology and how the brain functions and psychology...basically there are a lot of things I'd love to know more about and since most of them I would otherwise not get a chance to learn about as I have no time or money to take classes, I'm going to teach myself.

Wish me luck.

Monday, April 26, 2010

I feel too connected to everybody through Facebook. I don't like that a large portion of my social life exists on and through a computer screen. What happened to hanging out with friends and talking, or going to a coffee shop? What happened to late night movies? What happened to playing video games or board games? What happened to story telling, or making movies? What happened to going to the park? What happened to TPing? What happened to enjoying ourselves without getting "schwasted"? What happened to "connecting" with friends in person? I guess it's easier to connect online when we all have such busy schedules. Is that what happens when you grow up? I know there has to be an easier way. Perhaps this is what you have to do to become a well rounded person. When you choose not to live life like everybody else, you have to make certain sacrifices so that some day things will be easy. I often have to refocus myself and make a point to remember that I am in school right now and that I just need to be patient. I'm learning what I need to learn now so that when I'm done with school I have to the tools necessary to do what I need and want to do. I've just been going going going for what feels like forever. I'm excited that in a few years I will finally be finished with school.

I'm also excited that in a few short months I will be living somewhere else. Somewhere that doesn't involve Victor and Amanda. They are insufferable to live with. My bedroom is practically a studio and it is a bit claustrophobic in here. I'm ready to be out. I don't like feeling confined in any sense because of someone else. I don't want my emotional well-being to ever be at the mercy of somebody else's actions or inactions. It drives me insane.

Friday, April 23, 2010

I just deleted my Myspace account.

I think Facebook is next.

I'm not feeling much today.

Actually I am and perhaps I am feeling too much.

This might be the only way that I can keep my sanity.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I've finished my final piece for LFD 301. One thing I had not counted on was that the canvas itself relfected in the mirror acted as another mirror of sorts. The mirror and canvas reflected in upon each other in the same way that two mirrors reflect in upon each other and created a really cool effect. I think it's actually the most interesting aspect of the entire piece. I find the left side to be a bit weak so overall I think it could be stronger.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

"I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need." ~Auguste Rodin

I really like this quote.

I decided to just dig in with this piece and used more paint than I usually do. I like painting this way better because it feels more like I'm drawing than when I just smear it on...as Ms. Engels would say, "noodle noodle." I still have some problems finding key areas to bring the piece to a complete whole but I'm gaining momentum.

This next semester I am taking an independent study for LFD 302. I'm not sure how they'll be dealing with models for us and how exactly a life drawing independent study will work. I'm thinking positive. I'm also signed up for Digital Graphics Foundation (DGF) and Watercolor...I was really hoping for photography but I guess they're not offering it this summer but I don't like that watercolor is my replacement. I wasn't sure I wanted to take more oil classes but now I know I want to. I'm going to have it changed.

We have been somewhat unfocused in Life Drawing lately but we have been discussing doing a mastercopy project. meanwhile I did this study in about an hour in class. Again, I'm still working out the idea of space and relationships.

I find it really interesting how the idea of relationships that I have been exploring in my drawings has shown me some overlying patterns in life as well. The relationships in everything. They aren't just in how I see life, but how life is. It's an interesting insight for me. This all harkens back to my belief that everything is interconnected and actually finding these connected relationships in my drawings has helped to shed light on its truth in life as well as on the canvas.

I'm getting much closer to finishing my final piece for LFD 301. And by finished I mean almost all of the canvas is covered. I will still need to go back and fix bits here and there and bring the entire thing to a complete whole. For now, here's a small sample

Friday, April 9, 2010

"The mind is its own place, and the places inhabited by the insane and the exceptionally gifted are so different from the places where ordinary men and women live, that there is little or no common ground of memory to serve as a basis for understanding or fellow feeling." ~Aldous Huxley, The Doors of Perception

I may be exceptionally gifted or I may be insane, in fact I'm not sure either are too far from each other on the sanity spectrum. One is perhaps slightly more misunderstood. In any case, this is how I feel about most people I meet. I am never quite able to express myself to most people I encounter because there is no way for me to express what I know or feel without them becoming completely lost by the ambiguity.

Friday, April 2, 2010

I found this doorknob at Anthropologie. I was wearing my green button up with my green flip flops and with my green glass ring, which is almost exactly the same green as the doorknob. Needless to say I bought it.

Isn't it amazing?